I founded the Carnival of MS Bloggers in 2007 to connect the growing MS Blogging Community. My vision was to become the central hub where bloggers could find each other and to feature a collection of independent patient voices.

As larger MS organizations have also begun to feature patient voices on their own websites in recent years, the Carnival of MS Bloggers is no longer the single driving force in serving this wonderful community. For that we should all be grateful.

Thank you for continuing to support me in this one-person labor of love over the years. As of now, I will be taking a break from hosting the Carnival of MS Bloggers.

Please feel free to continue to email me to alert me to new MS blogs to add to the comprehensive MS Blogging Community index.

Sincerely,
Lisa Emrich

MS Bloggers A-D

MS Bloggers E-L

MS Bloggers M

MS Bloggers N-S

MS Bloggers T-Z

MS Caregivers and Loved Ones

Labels

Showing posts with label Medications. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Medications. Show all posts

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Carnival of MS Bloggers #96

Welcome to the Carnival of MS Bloggers, a bi-weekly compendium of thoughts and experiences shared by those living with multiple sclerosis.

The Hurricane which is MS
by Mary K. Mennenga

When what you can do is stolen from you
The mix of emotions felt are different for each person
That learns their life and all plans made
May need to be changed or at least need a lot of adjusting
The future has become a question mark
What hasn't changed is your heart, spirit and love for life
Your not one to give up or quit when things get tough
Learning it's name M.S. gave you a power over it
Because you knew what it could and would do
M.S. didn't know the kind of fighter you are
You knew the fight was against M.S.
Not you!
What it took wasn't who you are only what you could do
You are much more than just that
Knowledge is a powerful tool when the fighting must be done from the inside out
Having limits isn't something you've had to deal with until now
Handling this isn't easy when it changes
One day you can the next your body fails it's not your fault
You know what the real reason is and it's not you
Getting people to understand does not always happen
Now all plan's made are tentative to limit misunderstandings
This is when we see how strong you are as you battle M.S.
Yet you still manage to take care of the people who love you
Of course you may not see it that way, your looking outward
We are looking in seeing your heart
That is the most amazing part of you being you


by Gracie's Mum

August is usually the hottest of the summer months in Halifax. This year though, with the rainiest and coldest summer in years, we’re only just now seeing August in its true form.

The warm August winds, although great for drying clothes hung on the line, means only one other thing: the Atlantic hurricane season is upon us.

The most famous of them all to hit Halifax was 2003’s Juan.

With only days to go until our wedding, my sisters got on a plane, before the closure of the airport and made it to Ontario just narrowly escaping Juan’s wrath.

The worst hurricane to hit the Canadian Atlantic coast, Juan was responsible for acres upon acres of damage and destruction, including major natural landmarks, provincial parks, and for the death of a rescue worker.

There have been several hurricanes since we have lived here. In fact the year we did move here there was what seemed to be one after the other after the other.

And although there weren’t many that hit land, last year was still no exception.

In August of last year we were walloped by a doozy that left us without power for 2 days.

Not terrible if you are in the city, but in the country, when you have a well supplying your water and the well pump runs on electricity, you better have remembered to fill the bath tub with water to assist in the flushing of the toilet. Also, it doesn’t hurt to fill up on bottled water for not only drinking but brushing teeth. And forget about showering, you just get used to sponging yourself down with tepid bottled water.

Good times.

By the second day of eating all the dairy we could handle in advance of it spoiling in the powerless fridge, we gave up and went out to the pub for food since they were one of the few with power in our area.

As we drove around we saw downed trees, power and cable lines and a lot of debris strew over the streets and yards.

It wasn’t the worst of storms but it was a big one that’s for sure.

Hurricanes, although everyone is aware of the season, are for the most part unpredictable.

Yes, you know if one is barrelling toward you, yes you know how fast it’s approaching and we all know there is even a measuring system to predict its strength and force.

And we know that they’re given names and because of that we’re able to remember how bad some of them have been.

But none the less, the actual damage is unpredictable.

Nobody ever knows if the spindly tree in the back yard that should have been cut down years ago will find itself slamming into your roof or front window. Nobody ever knows how high and damaging the waves will be this time. And no one knows how long the power will be out and if they have enough supplies in case the effects of the storm last a really long time.

And nobody knows why this time they were hit or why they were spared.

Living with MS is much like hurricane season.

All year long.

Nobody knows why some people develop MS while others don’t. Nobody knows why some people have mild cases of relapse-remitting that remain in remission for years.

Nobody knows why some people have faster cycling forms of relapse-remitting. Nobody knows why some with relapse-remitting graduate to Secondary Progressive and others don’t. And nobody knows why some people develop Primary progressive right off the bat.

And nobody has the cure.

And even more importantly, those with any form of MS have no idea when or where the next attack will come and what damage will be left in its wake.

Much like hurricane season, many will be ready and prepared only to be relieved from time to time when not much of anything has happened at all.

Many will face a wrath of nature that no amount of planning could have ever prepared them for.

So what do people who live in the path of hurricanes do?

They live, they breathe, they hunker down for the long haul, they rebuild if necessary only to do it all again.

But very few move away out of fear.

They adapt or die.

So, while I start making longer grocery lists that include canned goods, bottles of water, batteries and candles I am confident in the fact that I too am as prepared as I will let myself be for the next one, which has every chance of being the big one.

And when and if it comes I have but one thing to say.

You better bring it ‘cause you’ve met your match this time.


by Gracie's Mum

It’s been a long road.

Bumps, hills, sheer drop offs, delays, missed connections, unbearable traffic, and even more unbearable road rage.

And then, then it got a little swear-y.

I’ve been on this road for almost 5 years and a new road is just around the corner.

In October I will go back to work. And my list of goals that I made, what seems like a lifetime ago, in the hospital after my MS diagnosis, will finally be completed.

I have not returned to work since my departure in March 2010.

That is a lifetime ago.

And since going off my first Disease Modifying Drug in preparation for the switch to the new drug I will be taking, I can’t even describe how amazing I have been feeling.

Even in the early weeks of going from three injections a week down to two I noticed a difference in my levels of fatigue, stamina and endurance. Then I switched to once a week, the difference again was incredible. Now, it has been two weeks of being entirely free of that drug and I feel absolutely incredible.

On top of that, I have a house designed to conserve my energy.

I won’t say I feel back to my old self, because I don’t even remember what that felt like.

It’s been a long time.

I have an amazing amount of energy, but not only that, I have confidence where I had none only mere months ago.

A confidence to allow myself to really be me. To live with MS, but to live in spite of it as well.

I’ve found myself daydreaming about long lost goals, finding an increased passion in old hobbies and a want and desire, not because I have to, but because I want and desire, to plan for the future.

To plan daytrips, weekend getaways, family gatherings, parties, and get-togethers with friends.

To reunite myself with my graduate studies, to finish my program and apply what I’ve learned to my current and future career goals.

To have future career goals.

Because I have confidence that my energy levels will not fail me as miserably as they have before.

For years, my head-down-plough-through-this mantra that I rehearsed every minute of every day, no longer seems entirely valid. I won’t forget it, but it’s up there on the shelf that we put things we no longer need right now, but might need one day sooner or later.

I know that I will have MS for the rest of my life.

I know what MS can do without medication to divert its course.

I know now how one of those medications made me feel.

And I have learned from that experience.

I will try different cocktails of medication, exercise, and homeopathic remedies for the rest of my MS ridden life in order to keep this good feeling going.

I need this and my family really needs me back to being me.

And that I can see her, smiling back at me in the mirror, is almost too good to be true.

But to know, to believe that it is true, is even better.

Have a wonderful weekend!


by Nicole of My New Normals

Doc Office
I see a neurologist to manage my multiple sclerosis. Even though I’ve had this ghastly disease for 11 years now, going to the doctor’s office always leaves me feeing down and depressed. I’m not entirely sure what I expected the doctor to say at this visit, but it was the same old stuff.

Sitting in the waiting room I kept thinking that MS wasn’t in my plans. Those thoughts would usually make me a blubbering idiot. But this time, I remembered some of my own words. I remembered the wonderful comments and support I’ve received both here and from family and friends.

I said before, I am never quite sure what the doctor will say. But that’s a lie. The feeling that I was misdiagnosed is always running in my heart and I thought he’d know. I secretly thought he’d feel that same vibe and would shower a little hope on me. After all, I thought only 2/3rds of the multiple sclerosis population ends up in a wheelchair? What happened to that? I told these statistics to my husband Tommy and he said, “You’re special and make the wheelchair look good.” It’s kind of lame, but I’m a sucker for compliments of any kind.

I thought people, who start out with visual disturbances, like I did, generally do well or at least don’t end up in a wheelchair? What happened to that? Again, all Tommy said was, “You’re special.”

I thought black Americans didn’t generally get this? Well, the gigs up. I’m black and I got it and yes you don’t have to say it I already know I’m special.
Mighty Mouse

 I read an article where Multiple Sclerosis Was Successfully Reversed In Mice. Too bad I’m not a mouse.

AAAGGHHHHHHHH!

Somehow, I feel better but I still need a drink!





by Chris Tatevosian

Book Excerpt:

When I was struggling, my mood was one of nastiness.  All my actions had become hidden agendas.  My anger and nastiness developed into a learned technique for achieving my hidden agenda.  At one point during my marriage I recall my wife saying that she tried to do everything to please me in an attempt to avoid upsetting me.  Of course, she told me this so that I would be sympathetic and understanding.  As a result, I thought I was being more understanding, but I had also learned that expressing anger was a way of getting what I wanted from her.  I was guilty of angrily expressing frustration and hardship likely resulting from the embarrassment of my physical losses such as strength, energy, and simple motor skills.  Furthering this problem were the larger culprits: my mental and emotional losses, the loss of my self-esteem, and the development of cognitive difficulties.  This behavior became the norm.  In my mind I didn’t recognize my relationship-damaging and selfish behavior because my personal struggle to function was all-consuming of both my mental and physical strength.  I mean, come on, every simple daily task like tying my sneaker, standing up in the shower or holding an eating utensil became an embarrassing struggle.

Whether we want to admit it or not, the damage to our own egos can cause much anger.  Unfortunately, much of it is misplaced anger, and who is the unfortunate recipient of that anger?  I’ll take “my wife” for $500, Alex.  If someone, somehow, had been able to help me recognize I was acting that way so that I could have changed my behavior and stepped out of that “it’s all about me” fog, my marriage might still be intact today.  Having a chronic illness or disability is horrible, tragic, and unfair.  If you surround yourself in that fog of misery and self-pity, you may just be involved in a tragic accident, the result of which will be the tragic loss of your relationship, marriage or family.


This concludes the 96th edition of the Carnival.

The next Carnival of MS Bloggers will be hosted here on September 15, 2011. Please remember to submit a post (via email) from your blog of which you are particularly proud, or which you simply want to share, by noon on Tuesday, September 13, 2011.

Thank you.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Carnival of MS Bloggers #56

Welcome to the Carnival of MS Bloggers, a bi-weekly compendium of thoughts and experiences shared by those living with multiple sclerosis.

Dancing and Anne's Regimen


Moving to the music on the dance floor is nothing new for Jennifer and me. At weddings and parties we always go and claim an unoccupied corner of the dance floor – out of everyone’s way – and “dance.”

This dancing involves Jennifer elevating her powerchair seat so we’re closer to the same height and we either embrace and sway to a slow song or join hands and boogie with our arms to a fast song.

But there was something different this time at WCMU’s annual Night of Louisiana.
This was our second year attending what the public broadcasting network flaunts as a way for people to cure the mid-winter blues. As for me, I always tell others they have to go because it’s just plain ridiculous fun!

So, Jennifer and I donned our Mardi Gras beads and headed out for a night of southern-style cuisine and live Cajun and zydeco music by The Pine Leaf Boys and Lil’ Nathan and the Zydeco Big Timers.

After meeting up with our friends, we swiftly forgot about the frigid late January freeze. Trusting in the sweet fruitiness of overpriced and fully liquored Hurricane drinks to cool the burn from our spicy Cajun dinner, Jennifer and I watched as people swarmed the dance floor three notes into The Pine Leaf Boys’ opening song.

The people’s dancing to the fiddle- and accordion-laced Cajun music was contagious. Jennifer and I quickly claimed an unoccupied corner of the dance floor and throughout the night we danced – swaying and boogying while Jennifer sat in her powerchair.

But with one song, everything changed: Jennifer was standing – honest to God standing! – with me out on the dance floor.

Lord know what led us to give this a try (Jennifer thinks maybe it was a little liquid courage), but all I remember was her looking up at me as the slow song started and I asked, “Did you want to try standing a little for this one?”

Certainly, I always help Jennifer stand to make transfers at home, but never had we stood together like this in public, especially on dance floor with hundreds of people around us.

Jennifer didn’t hesitate to say, “Yes,” and as we always do to stand, she put her arms around my neck and I straddled her right leg, slightly squatted, wrapped my arms around her back and locked my hands together. And she counted, “1, 2, 3.”

And there we were. Dancing our first slow dance. Jennifer and I standing together swaying to the slow song. And all we really could do was smile as we looked into each other’s eyes (although, I do remember telling her how awesome it was to see her standing because she knows how much I enjoy the fact that she’s two inches taller than me).

While her MS-weakened legs likely limited our dance to less than a minute, I truly had lost track of time. I was really dancing with my wife. I’ll bet with Jennifer standing with me we looked just like everyone else on the dance floor.

But I couldn’t tell you for sure. For that moment in time, we were the only ones out there.



Recently I have been asked about why I choose to not take any of the disease modifying drugs (DMDs) for Relapsing Remitting Multiple Sclerosis. It is a personal choice and one that I make as informed as I can be - the side effects in my opinion could well be worse than the disease.

Diagnosis

In 1976, for about two years, I had many episodes, but I didn't have a diagnosis yet. All the hustle and bustle of going to med school and holding down two jobs was the culprit of my physical dis-ease, I was sure. I met my husband in 1975 and our future looked wonderful - I would graduate medical school in three or four years with a good job that paid well (after I paid back my loans!). Having children didn't matter much to him or me at that point; I was the only thing that was important to him and he to me.

Then one morning, I got up out of bed to run to the bathroom and landed flat on my face. My legs had failed me; it took a long time to crawl to a chair to get up off the floor. This was to be added to the long list of other symptoms that had been plaguing me for nearly two years to which no doctor had a remedy.

My husband and I weren't married yet but we were living together. I went to school that day and mentioned my symptoms (for the umpteenth time) to my professor and he suggested that I see a colleague of his who was doing a study on neurological disorders. I went after class to see him and he did a neurological exam - prodding here, tapping there, poking here, pinpricking there. He performed an EMG on various body parts. Before pronouncing anything, he wanted me to get a CAT Scan, a fairly new diagnostic machine.

In those days, CAT Scans were about the size of a 12 foot x 12 foot room and only a very few hospitals in Philadelphia had them because they were so expensive. So he called a colleague and got me an appointment that very afternoon. Before I even called home to say I was going to be late, I was inside the machine getting the test. Three hours later, I took the "EL" home and paged through the volume of paperwork I had collected from the neurologist. So many neurological diseases and only one popped up over and over again. Multiple Sclerosis. That night, I had a talk with my fiance. He needed to understand that "this" was not going away and that I had some choices to make.

It was unlikely I would be able to continue on my set course in medical school - I had three to four more years to go and if I missed any length of time due to illness, it would set me back where I would have to repeat several semesters. It was time to think about changing my course selection to something of shorter length and still stay in the medical field, if I could.

A week later, the neurologist came by my class to see me. He asked what "I thought" was wrong with me and I thought "Oh, well, here we go again! Another doc accusing me of being a quack and referring me to a psychiatrist." But I thought if I was honest and said "maybe Multiple Sclerosis" which I had never said to any other doctor, maybe I would get a different response.

And I did.

Treatment

He thought maybe MS was a distinct possibility. He wanted to do more tests and to document a few more episodes before pronouncement. In the meantime, he agreed that maybe my choice of career might need some reconsideration. I said I was getting married in a month and the stress of it all along with school was a kicker.

Sure enough, the episodes he wanted to document manifested themselves in short order. He started me on a low dose course of prednisone, a common treatment at that time and one I was familiar with because I was taking 5mg a day maintenance for Crohn's Disease. He increased me to 50mg a day - 30 in am, 20 in pm, for 5 days, then a taper which lasted about two weeks.

I thought about what life was going to be like for my husband being saddled with a "sick" wife, a wife who would not become the doctor she wanted to be and, depending on the disease progression, would become dependent on him for the rest of her life. Did he know what he was getting into? Did he really want to marry me? I had to make it clear to him that I was sick and probably always going to be sick. He didn't care, he said; he loved me, he wanted to marry me.

We got married September 18th and by October 12th, 1976 I had a definitive diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis - three weeks after we got married. We told no one of my diagnosis - not even family. I decided to put a career ahead of having babies for now and my husband was happy with that as long as we made time for each other. I doctored with the neuro until just after New Year's, when suddenly the doctor died of a massive heart attack. And MS flared again.

Thus began the long journey from one neuro to another who offered one therapy after another. Somewhere along the line (might have been the 5th neuro or the 6th), we were told to forget about having children because MS could flare badly.

Turns out that wasn't true, but given the knowledge of the day, what did I know? I was relying on doctors' advice. And telling me that just ticked me off!

I suddenly took a hissy fit and decided that career be damned, I needed to make a decision. I don't like being told NO and to tell me to forget about having children was the straw that broke the camel's back. And naturally, with the body I have, I couldn't get pregnant on my own after two years - I needed help.

So besides going from one neuro to another, I also added going from one fertility doctor to another. Once they found out I had MS, no OB/GYN wanted to give me fertility drugs. So now I needed to learn how to keep my mouth shut, go to a new city, and find a doctor who would supply me with drugs and treatments to get pregnant and have the babies I now so dearly wanted.

Five miscarriages later, I had my first son. Two more miscarriages, then I had my second son. It was clear after the first child that a medical career would take a back seat. Once you hold that little baby in your arms (and he's YOURS!), going to work at anything outside the home became a distant memory.

Very few of us know when we have reached a turning point in our lives. A point where a decision was made to follow a course that was life-changing. To think that I could have followed doctors' advice and not pursued treatment toward having children, to chase a career (possibly a rewarding one), and become complacent in a marriage with just my husband and I (which may have made us become very selfish with no children to share things with), that life seems so far distant now as I look back.

And just look at what the decisions we make in our lives do... to change a chosen course. I cannot imagine my life without my husband and boys. Can I imagine my life without Multiple Sclerosis? Possibly, but then I would not have had the life I have and the people who are in it. I believe God knows what is best for us and He thinks this is best for me. It took a long time for me to accept that. First there was anger, then came acceptance.

More on the Diagnosis

In 1976, when I was diagnosed, not much was known by doctors about MS or treatments. Many were afraid to even label you with MS because insurance didn't pay them for such an "obscure" diagnosis at that time.

Peripheral Neuropathy, that's what one of my receipts read - so the doctor could be paid by insurance. I was diagnosed by trial and error, listing symptoms, EMG's, EEG's, Evoked Potentials, CAT Scan, and by doctors "visually" seeing my physical condition to judge "exacerbation or not."

In addition to all the "therapies" listed in this blog, I was put on antibiotic "therapy" for the better part of three years and although there were no visible changes, I was afraid to stop it for fear I would get worse. And I figured, antibiotics heal, so what can it hurt. What it did was made me immune now to certain antibiotics, allergic to others (PCN - penicillin) and deathly sick on others.

After much reading (no internet then), talking with colleagues, and generally feeling lousy, a suggestion was made that my diet needed to be revamped and slowly over the course of about five years, my diet became what it is today. To anyone reading this, if you are going to make changes to your diet by eliminating certain foods, it is my advice to do so - one food at a time. If you try to cut out everything all at once, you may very well fail. Your body will rebel.

More Treatments

In 1977, plasmaphoresis was offered to me (while still taking antibiotics) with the promise that symptoms would be kept at bay. NOPE. I was good for a week or so, then everything came back in spades to where I was before. I did this for about two years. You can read about plasmaphoresis here and here.

IV Chemotherapy (Cladribine - more potent than the oral form which has just been in the news) was the next thing offered, because the thought at the time was to kill off the bad cells that were making me sicker. NOPE. I did this every other month for a bit and it made me sick as a dog.

My husband said nothing was worth being that sick for. I agreed. The decision to go on fertility drugs was made and from 1979 onward, I made a conscious decision to not treat for the MS and no more antibiotics. I truly wanted children and I certainly didn't want to deal with any birth defects - doctors had no idea at the time if any of the treatments I was on would cause defects. Heck, they didn't even know about the fertility drugs I was taking. Pregnancy kept MS at bay, but one could not remain pregnant forever!

In the first year of my diagnosis, I was treated with massive doses of interferon which was believed to wear down the immune system in order to let treatment build it back up again - only stronger. This was common thought at the time (1976). At the time, I knew no one "personally" who had Multiple Sclerosis.

I also went through various other treatments, including IVSM (5000 IU at a time - a real killer & same dose for everyone, which proved to me they really didn't know what they were doing!), ACTH, oral steroids, blood-washing (sort of like dialysis), chemotherapy (went bald and got skinny to 70 lbs.), diets, vitamins, exercise, you name it - they tried it on me.

All these were given a try because I was so sick and "listened" to docs who had far more education that I did. So I decided to get educated. After all, I was a 2nd year medical school student at diagnosis and had access to all kinds of information and libraries.

The problem was that there was not much information out there in the 1970's and early 1980's. By the time I got out of medical school, there was far more I didn't know and had to learn "on the job" through experience. That's why medicine is called a "Practice" - because it is practiced on people, etc. LOL

In medical school, it was not exactly wise to let them know what was going on with me for fear of getting kicked out of the program. Likewise, other people didn't come forward to share if they had MS or not, so essentially, I was alone in diagnosis. However, I knew any ideas of becoming a surgeon were blown - I couldn't trust my hands or my brain. But there was always "Research" which was a common comeback for students who failed an important test! I had not yet found my field, so I was interning in every department trying to find my niche.

I did not tell my family of diagnosis until the early 1990's. My husband was the only one I shared it with. It was easier to let others think anything else they wanted, because everyone had a preconceived notion of MS - negative and positive. To employers, I would be considered unemployable (not trustworthy) and I have been fired from a few places who did learn of my MS - even as late as 2001. (It's easier and less stressful not to pursue them legally, although I did for a while, but gave up the fight. I suffered physically trying to fight them.)

Wise Advice

One professor of Neurology, who befriended me shortly after 1976 diagnosis, told me a piece of advice after three years of "therapies". It has been a gem.

"You can eat anything that grows below the ground, hangs off of a tree (not a vine), and drink anything that has vitamin value in it or added to it. That is the diet". As for medications, he said "the reason MS was called Multiple Sclerosis was because it was sclerotic in a lot of different places - hence multiple. You need to treat the inflammation until a cure comes along."

If something is sclerotic, it is inflamed. To cut down inflammation, acceptable treatment nowadays is a lower dose of IVSM than I was given in 1970's, followed by an oral prednisone taper. Eventually you were supposed to stop the prednisone after the taper, but I was already taking prednisone for Crohn's Disease. So I decided that the prednisone was what was making me feel better and it was just a matter of getting the dosage right so that I didn't hurt my bones, etc. Next, I set out to research how to protect my bones and my organs.

In 1980, after an IVSM 6 day dose, I started an oral prednisone taper that spread out over three weeks, eventually getting down to 10 mg a day (5mg in AM, 5mg in PM) which was my normal dose for my other disease. A flare here and there was treated with IVSM but at lower doses than what was practiced then. I did come off the protocol for short periods to go through fertility treatments and have two babies (1982 and 1984).

Remembering that my professor friend told me to watch out for my bones, I added Calcium Magnesium, Vitamin D3, and later years Fosamax. How much to add depends on your weight and extent of MS damage. A list of my meds is elsewhere in this post. No one told me before then to protect my bones. I'd been on prednisone since age 11. I can't imagine how much damage was already done to my bones!

How much IVSM is right for me?

How do you get on to a daily prednisone maintenance dose? It is easier to do this once you have been through a course of IVSM and a prednisone taper. Your maintenance dose may not be the same as my maintenance dose--- due to your weight, body size, and extent of disease.

Some doctors think three day schedules of higher dose IVSM are effective. Some doctors think six day schedules of higher dose IVSM are effective. In both cases, I hear patients complaining of IVSM effects.

My opinion - and it is solely my opinion - is that I really believe that 3 days high dose IVSM is not enough for anyone to get back to normal from a bad flare. So many docs feel 3 days high dose IVSM is enough, when I think 6 days lower dosage IVSM (as bad as it is) does a much better job. So many docs also do not use a prednisone taper AFTER IVSM, and that is sooooo important against rebounding and having to go through another IVSM round.

I feel that a lower dose IVSM over a longer period (6 days) is much more effective on a flare with an easier transition to prednisone taper. It is my opinion.

I request in home (but will go to his office if nec) 6 days IVSM for flares (overwhelming fatigue, can't walk well or at all, leg drags, foot drop, talking and thinking becomes compromised, fine motor skills - eating, holding things, are kaput) - the 6 days goes like this -

1000 mg spread out 4x a day (250mg each) for 3 days, 750mg spread out 3x day (250mg each) for 2 days, 500mg spread out 2x a day (250mg each) for 1 day. No need for massive doses unless you are hospitalized with a whole list of problems. Some docs order 1000mg four times a day, that's 4000 mg!!!! way too much - makes your brain fuzzy and alot of other stuff.

Since I get overwhelmingly overheated from IVSM, in addition to an ice pack, I also take 100 mg oral Benadryl an hour before each IV and that helps with the heat, itching as well as the other side effects, like sleeplessness, otherwise I'd be awake for the whole 6 days and bingeing on sugar! LOL.

When done IV, always do an oral prednisone taper. Docs who abruptly stop everything after IVSM leave patients who are very irritable, high strung, crying jags, and generally uncomfortable, wondering if their doc knew what they were doing.

My oral prednisone (after IVSM) schedule goes like this - Remember my last IVSM was 250mg, so I start with 100mg oral prednisone spread out between 5 doses (20mg at a time) a day for 3 to 4 days, 80mg spread out between 4 doses (20mg at a time) a day for 3 to 4 days, 60mg spread out between 3 doses (20mg at a time) a day for 3 to 4 days, 40mg spread out between 4 doses (10 mg at a time) for 2 to 3 days, 20mg spread out between 4 doses (5mg at a time) for 1 to 2 days, 10mg spread out between 2 doses (5mg at a time) for 1 day, which is back to my normal dose.

I sometimes have to increase my daily dose for a few days due to Crohn's complications, but I always taper back to my regular dose.

I have been doing this for years and it has worked for me very well. A good long taper keeps me from the bad effects of withdrawal from the high IV doses.

For anyone after IVSM use, oral prednisone should be 2 weeks minimum ....most docs order it for 3 weeks - this is a must after IVSM. Instead of stopping it on the last day, I continue it as my daily med.

It may seem like a looooooooooooong taper to you after 6 days IVSM, but it is worth it. Abruptly stopping after IVSM is bad, short tapers are not good, and often a person cannot notice the good that came from the whole therapy.

Lesions and More

As I have written in other postings, I have 16 brain lesions since it was seen on my first MRI which wasn't until the mid- 1980's. They didn't have MRI's available before then, just CAT Scans, which didn't show how many lesions, just that there were areas of lesions. I also have 4 cervical lesions (C3-C7), 2 thoracic lesions. Only one small section of brain lesions have expanded slightly (gotten larger) on a 1999 MRI, the others remain unchanged. (Brain lesions compromise cognition, limb function, vision, sound (up and down). Cervical lesions at C3 to C7 compromise some of respiratory, but mostly for me, eating. Thoracic lesions compromise respiratory (breathing), swallowing, voice, and that dreaded MS hug.)

I have needed steroids since I was 11 years old, because I also have Crohn's Disease, which was treated surgically, then with prednisone, diet, loperamide (imodium) and later I added flagl. I was used to being on prednisone and I felt good on it to a certain degree.

For Crohn's flares, IVSM was also the treatment. Hearing that I had MS was only slightly worse than hearing I had Crohn's Disease. Then I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in 1986 - again prednisone was the treatment. So prednisone seemed to be the drug that I should stay on since it was what helped with the other two diseases.

How to get a starting point

I was sick of being sick on their "therapies." So I made some decisions. Clean up my diet which was crap because of my shift changes at work and try to clean up my sleep habits which was also crap because of my shift changes. That was the biggest hurdle. If I could get that much accomplished, the rest would be gravy.

But I had to get my body back to a starting point. After several hits of plasmaphoresis (blood washing, sort of like dialysis) to get the toxins out of my body and 2 or 3 rounds of IVSM - I finally got back to near normal although it took over a year to get there. Weight came back gradually.

I doctored only to get the meds I needed (IVSM or oral steroids, regular meds) to help me over the humps and to document the progression or lack of progression of my MS lesions.

So what am I doing?

It is a tremendous effort on my part, and not for people who don't want to do their homework, get up from the couch or go outdoors. It requires a rigid commitment to follow every day. And of course, it is not for everybody and I don't claim it will work for everybody. But those I have shared it with and have given themselves over to it have had good success.

It is not a cure all. It is simply a way to keep on keeping on without putting toxic DMD drugs into the body. I checked it out with every doctor I have been to - over 30 in 33 years (some quit me, I quit some and some plain old died). Those who disagreed gave me their reasons and I've filed it away for future information. I haven't used it yet.

Many MS'ers are taking DMD drugs and many are happy with that choice. If you are happy with your choice and feeling well, then I would stay with what works for you. The information in this post is just food for thought.

Since 1994, when DMDs first arrived on the scene, they have been pushed at me from the various neuro's I have been to and I have declined every time. I tell them what I am doing for myself, that I'm happy with it, that it has been working, and the concensus is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

I do use more steroids when needed to get over the humps and IVSM when it gets to be more than oral steroids can handle. But for the most part, I do not take any injectables, and the oral drugs I take are target (or disease) specific.

Abbreviations/explanations:
RA= Rhematoid Arthritis.
MS = Multiple Sclerosis.
Crohn's = Crohn's Disease (celiac and ileitis).
GERDS= Acid Reflux, stage 3, esophageal erosion.
Triglycerides = the part of your cholesterol that doctors holler about the most. I use Omega 3 Fish Oil to keep it under 200.
PRN = Taken as needed

So this is what I do for me regarding pill intake

Vitamins, Minerals, Supplements:
  • Multivitamin: 1 per day
  • Vitamin A: 10,000IU/day (vision, immune function, protect against heart disease, anitoxidant)
  • Vitamin B-12: 3000mcg/day time released (energy) doc recently increased this from 1500mcg/dayAtivan: 1mg/3x day and PRN (anxiety) Some days it is only two; if I am traveling in car, bus, plane or train, it is increased along with Requip so I don't vibrate in my seat with leg jumps and tremors.
  • Vitamin C: 1000mg/day with bioflavinoids and rose hips - helps fight cell damaging free radicals that leads to oxidative stress, premature aging, promote immune system health. Rose hips helps with hair, nails and skin.
  • Vitamin D3: 5000IU/day, in addition to 1 hr of sun outdoors per day
  • Vitamin E: 800 IU/day - immune function and cardiovascular health, helps blood sugar, skin, hair, regulates vitamin A in the body.
  • Calcium/Magnesium w/D added: 1500 mg/day (bones/ joints)
  • Magnesium - 500mg/day additional, tinglyness, muscle cramps (leg, arm, neck)
  • Niacin (Vitamin B-3): 400mg x 2/day for triglycerides
  • Omega 3 Fish Oil: 1200mg/6AM & 6PM for cholesterol, triglycerides, immune function, joint health
  • Selenium: 100 mcg/2x day vegetable formula, recently upped from 50, supports immune system
  • Black Cohosh: 540mg/x2 - for hot flashes
  • Co Q-10 w/phytosterols esters: 60/650mg x2 - (helps lower LDL and total cholesterol levels)
  • Glucosamine/Chondroitin: 1500mg/2 per day (bones/ joints/ movement for MS & RA)
  • Lipoflavinoid: 2 a day, takes care of the ringing in my ears.
Daily Medications:
  • Allegra D: 60mg/2x day (allergies, rhinitis)
  • Bentyl: 20 mg/3x day and PRN (Crohn's Disease, bowel spasm)
  • Detrol: 2mg/ 2x day (bladder spasms/ urinary frequency)
  • Fosamax: 70 mg 1x week (Bones, osteopenia)
  • Imodium 4m; Phazyme 120mg: 4 to 8 times a day (gaseousness, Crohn's, intestinal spasms)
  • Inositol Hexaphosphate: 1000 mg x 2/day for triglycerides, depression, to decrease insulin dependency; complications of diabetes
  • Insulin: none - except while on IVSM as needed numb spots, Crohn's disease, malabsorption, high blood pressure, helps with exercise
  • Meclizine: 25mg/2x day and PRN for vertigo
  • Neurotin: 300mg/x2 day - one in AM and one in PM OR PRN (burning hands/feet, pain)
  • Nexium: 40 mg/2x day for GERDS (increased to q8 hrs while on IVSM)
  • Prednisone: 5mg with breakfast, 5mg with meal before 5PM (can cause insomnia if taken later)
  • Prozac: 20 mg/day for depression
  • Requip: 0.25mg/3x day for RLS Restless Leg Syndrome (1 in AM, 2 -an hr before bed)
  • Zantac: 300 mg at bedtime (GERDS)
PRN (as needed) Meds
  • Astelin Spray 2 sprays/seasonal – allergies
  • Benadryl 50 mg/x2 with each IVSM dose (Hives, itch, flushing)
  • Compazine: 10 mg/q6hrs – PRN nausea
  • Insulin: 70/30 - for blood sugar spikes while on IVSM - if your vision gets blurry, test your sugar. IVSM and high doses of prednisone do cause high sugars, and it is treatable with short term insulin.
  • Levaquin: 500 mg/x2 x10 days for UTI’s and other infections (i.e. respiratory, etc.)
  • Prednisone: (in addition to daily) I use a sliding scale for flares of MS, RA or Crohn's Disease, followed by taper down to maintenance dose.
  • Pyridium: 200 mg/q8hrs x 2days w/Levaquin - for burning urination
  • SoluMedrol IV: low dose for 6 days for MS, RA, and Crohn's Disease exacerbations
  • Tylenol 500 mg/x2 for joint pain
  • Zanaflex 4mg/2 hrs b4 bed PRN – extreme leg spasms
Regarding Food

I do not eat fried foods. I do not eat anything made or fried with butter, anything made with brown sugar or chocolate chips (my allergy), red meat - hamburgers in any form, any kind of beef, liver, exotic foods, spicy foods, citrusy foods (oranges, limes, lemons, grapefruit, etc. - due to Crohn's Disease) anything with soy products in it (Crohn's), sugar substitutes in food (yes to sugarless gum but usually only 2 to 3 times/week), alcoholic beverages (maybe once a year or so), cola sodas (that are caffeinated - root beer occasionally but that is decaffeinated).

I do not eat corn of any kind (corn on cob, popcorn, side dish corn at dinner, etc. - due to Crohn's Disease.).

I do not eat pizza or pizza products (acidity -over 25 years now), and due to Crohn's Disease - no smoked foods (lunchmeats, etc.), nitrates or cured foods (scrapple, bacon, baked or spiral hams), hot dogs (ingredients!!!), diet products (nothing that has additives or sugar substitutes - only low in calorie foods), red things (any red foods - strawberries, cherries, tomatoes (acid), beets (colon no-no), any kind of peppers, no apples (just plain no addititve applesauce), no greasy foods (or anything cooked in oil or fried), no fatty foods (just pork, white turkey, white chicken that are well trimmed and baked), no wheat products (Crohn's no-no) or oatmeal products, no bran or cream of wheat, nothing with cinnamon in it (allergic and it causes my UTI's), and I do not eat certain kinds of fish because of dislikes.

Dinner foods

I do eat tuna, plain crabmeat, broiled flounder, broiled cod, white meat chicken in variety of prepared ways, meatballs made from ground turkey/pork combo, lean pork tenderloin, white meat turkey (dark meats are too greasy for me). I eat clear soups (no creamy), a lot of green veggies, carrots, non-wheat pasta (with little sauce but with sugar added to cut the acid), white potatoes (baked or mashed- a source of potassium), pot pies (read labels), white rice (can't eat brown rice - Crohn's no-no), and most kinds of non-wheat noodles.

Breakfast foods

I do eat about 5 bananas per day, every day, either alone or in smoothies - comes to about 10 pounds of bananas per week (helps keep away leg cramps and adds potassium so I don't have to take a pill for it). It put it in blender for smoothies and add to jello. I do eat cream of rice cereal once a week, buttermilk waffles - with margarine, little maple syrup, buttermilk pancakes once a month or so, white breads, scrambled eggs (1% milk -no butter), hard boiled eggs (completely cooked and often add them to salad), one cup of Tetley tea most mornings which is probably the only caffeine I get regularly.

Sweets

Home made cakes, box cakes (read labels), only vanilla ice cream (it is a Cheat! used with Imodium chaser), smoothies (in blender usually with a banana, plain yogurt or ice cream, and 1% milk - again with meds), any kind of vanilla sandwich cookie (read label for wheat), vanilla wafers. I like chocolate but limit it to about 5 pieces of those mini-3 musketeers per week. Sometimes chocolate frosting on cake but I have to watch the oil additives because of Crohn's.

Drinking

I drink bottled water because our water is so awful here. It is important to stay hydrated for general health, skin, hair, etc. but also because of the amount of supplements I take. So, I drink about 8 bottles (16 oz.) of water per day because I am constantly thirsty from the dry mouth side effect of some of my drugs (Detrol, Allegra, Prozac, Bentyl, Ativan). I drink one 16 oz. cup of hot tea every morning. If we go out to dinner, I may have a glass of Sprite soda with dinner, if I don't have a bottle of water with me (which is rare!) Smoothies - I throw whatever looks good in the blender, sometimes with a scoop of vanilla ice cream but usually yogurt.

Exercise

If I cannot walk outdoors, I do floor exercises in the house - stretches mostly. I march in place, swinging arms at same time for about ten minutes - good cardio. When walking outside, I don't venture too far from home when alone, so I only do about a mile round trip now. When I have someone with me, we may go about 3 miles round trip....depends on what I am able to do. Last month, I joined a gym which has basic machines and try to go at least 3 times a week, for about an hour to an hour and half

Fatigue

If you have read this far, you are probably wondering what I do for the overwhelming fatigue that comes with MS. Vitamin B-12 helps a lot; some people get weekly B-12 injections and have found great relief. (Hi Debra!)

I have found that the patch you can buy that are called "diet patches" supply me with enough energy, but not too much so I don't get the jitters. The ad testimonials will tell you that a lot of people are happy with their weight loss, (some aren't) but all seem happy with the energy level - which of course is the part that I am interested in. I use Le Patch, but you can get them under other names too. Again, this is what works for me. I don't like taking diet pills of any kind, so the patch works well.

I get a 3 month supply for about $50 free shipping, and because I cut them in half, they last about six months or more. I usually put one on in the morning and leave it on until about 3PM, when I start getting dinner ready. We eat early around here, usually before 5PM, and I am sitting up in bed by 7PM watching TV or reading until 10PM.

I have a whirlpool tub in the bathroom and sometimes I just fill it with tepid water, get my book and sit in the bubbly water and read for a couple of hours. Hubby has to get up at 4AM for work and the bedroom light bothers him sometimes, so I often hit the whirlpool. At the end of the day, it is so refreshing and relaxing.

I rarely take an afternoon nap. The reason I take the diet patch off at 3PM is because it can restrict your eating habits to a certain extent and I like to eat dinner with hubby. But the main reason to take it off at 3PM is it gives me that few hours of "wind down" time before bed.

If I have a late night coming (like my four times a month 11PM -7AM hospital shift), I will get a nap and wake up around 8PM and put a patch on for the night shift. It really helps me with energy in addition to the supplements that I take without having to take another pill for it. There are some days I don't use it at all, and if I find myself wanting to go out for a long afternoon/evening or something, then I will put one on to get through.

Also, because I get overheated at work due to the fast pace required in my job, I take a small frozen ice pack to work with me (one of those packs that looks like a small juice box), wrap it in a paper towel and put it between my bra and skin. Sometimes I forget to bring it and I have used one of those ice packs EMT's crack when they need to put cold on an injury and I wrap it in paper towel. Cools me right down and no one knows it is there. Cooling vests are a good find for some people, but I choose not to use them because they attract attention to me, which I do not like.

Everyone is Different

So, to date, this is what I do for me. That does NOT mean it is for everyone. It is what works best for me. Everyone is different - I have gluten issues whereas you may not. In regard to the supplements that I take, this has been fine tuned over the years and I have been feeling pretty well.

My MS regimen does change due to the ever changing disease of MS. It has to be tweaked occasionally. And increased physical workouts (or decreased) depends on MY physical condition to be able to do it. Sleep (or rest) patterns change weekly. And my dosages of pills changes depending on my physical well being.

I have added more Nexium when the GERDS gets worse, due to the Solu-Medrol and prednisone taper. So I up it to 3 or 4 a day until a taper is done, then back to two a day. I add more Glucosamine/Chondroitin when my RA is acting up - probably due to the four season weather here. My Crohn's Disease is kept in check due to daily meds, diet, rest, and to the adjustments with the steroids.

Keeping in Balance

Depression is part and parcel with MS but it has been baggage for me since I was a young child. They had more vicious names for it then. NOW, I love my Prozac and nothing comes between me and my Prozac! If Prozac doesn't work for you, find something that does. Anyone with MS will eventually deal with depression and there is no reason to suffer with it.

Keep MS in balance is an oxymoron because balance affects MS. Staying balanced in diet in almost impossible because we are human. But we must at least try.

I try to get annual MRI, as well as a Dexascan for my bones; sometimes I am off by a month or two but usually I am on target with the time.

In 1976, no one ever presumed MSers would live ten more years after diagnosis, much less thirty years, before it progressed to the "totally disabled" level. There are quite a few MSers out there who have had MS for over 25-30 years. If you are one of them, I'd love to hear (read) your story, especially what treatments you had at that time.



This concludes the 56th edition of the Carnival.

The next Carnival of MS Bloggers will be hosted here on March 11, 2010. Please remember to submit a post (via email) from your blog of which you are particularly proud, or which you simply want to share, by noon on Tuesday, March 9, 2010.
Thank you.
Comments for this post.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Carnival of MS Bloggers #21

Welcome to the Carnival of MS Bloggers, a bi-weekly compendium of thoughts and experiences shared by those living with multiple sclerosis.


Daily OM 
by Herrad

You may jump to conclusions today when interacting with others,
especially if you are assessing your exchanges from an emotional or biased point of view.

Perhaps you are feeling suspicious of other people's motives
or are making assumptions about how you're being received.

If this is the case for you today, it may be because your mind
is busy referencing the past and compelling you to get stuck in projections.

Consider focusing your attention on the present moment instead.

Paying attention to what's really happening, rather than getting mired in mind chatter,
can help you to think clearly and rationally so you can form appropriate conclusions.

Staying present allows us to process information rationally
during our interactions with people.

Being in the moment frees us of the mind's tendency
to dip into the past or jump ahead into an unknown future.

We can listen attentively and take what we see and hear for what it is in its own context.

The objectivity this affords us allows us to come to more pertinent conclusions.

We can also respond to what's in front of us rather than
react from past experiences, our fears, or conditioning.

Stay present and absorb what is happening to you right now,
and you will be able to honestly assess your situation
and draw more accurate conclusions.


In a post which made me laugh outloud, Mandi of Anatomy of Restlessness shares  
An open letter to Acme Syringe.
Dear Acme Syringe Company:

I am writing to tell you that I have used your syringes for years, and I would like to ask you for a syringe sponsorship. I believe that I have excellent qualifications, and I will be a good representative of your company. A far better representative than the folks who abuse your syringes and use them multiple times to inject illegal substances. Attached is my syringe resume:

Allergies
One round of allergy shots 1x a week for 3 years
One round of 2 allergy shots 2x a week for another 3 years
4 skin tests, with about 60 needle pricks each (back and forearms)

Multiple Sclerosis (this is where it gets exciting)
Innumerable blood draws
almost 25 days of infusion with Solu-Medrol and IVIG
spinal tap (this one requires several little needles for numbing and a few BIG needles for drawing cerebro-spinal fluid)
injections of interferon every other day forever and ever
B12 shot

Thyroid
biopsy with several needles
more blood draw

Diabetes
I don't have diabetes, but I would definitely use your syringes if I were to get it.

Thank you so much for your time to consider my request. Please feel free to contact me with any questions or comments.

Sincerely,
Mandi

ps: I can definitely get you lots of photos of me wearing a sports bra in extreme locations using your syringes.


Hey - DID YOU KNOW MONTEL WILLAMS HAS THAT? asks Bald Ben.

Would the real Bald Ben please stand up......

I never much thought of myself as a "blog person". Sitting here writing some sort of blather about myself for others to read never really seemed of much interest to me. Then my wife got pregnant. One might ask, "Hmm, how does your wife getting pregnant lead you to blogging? I would think you would have a lot more to think about?"

Your question would be a good one, albeit a little short sided, but a good one nonetheless.
You see, my wife wasn't only pregnant with one baby, but she was pregnant with two babies! Yep twins. This as I have been known to say is proof there is a God and he has a very dark and wicked sense of humor.

Picture it: It's a lovely day in heaven. Large white billowy clouds, soft harp music in the air, well manicured lawns, you know....heaven. Standing by the pearly white gates, God, calls all his buddies around, "Buddha, Moses, Vishnu, Jesus get over here." As they gather they realize that God has got a real rip snorter and He can barely hold back his laughter.
Now, God has been known to tell a good yuke from time to time, (i.e.=2 0floods, pestilence, duck billed platypus) but if he already can't contain himself this has got to be good. "Wait till you see this," almost bursting in hilarity, "See that Bald guy down there?"
"Yeah" They reply choir like.

God bellows out," allakazam!"

ZAP!

Bald Ben's got MS.

God is rolling. He almost starts a thunder storm he is laughing so hard.

The other deities look at each other a bit confused. You see, Buddha never understood this whole incurable disease bit. He's more of a knock, knock joke guy.

Knock, knock…
Who's there?
Buddha.
Buddha who?
Don't cry, it's just me the Enlightened One…..

And Moses was still trying to figure out how the Jews, after thousands of years of persecution, were supposed to be the chosen people. Jesus, being the savior and all, meekly taps God on his great big omnipresent shoulder and says, "Dad, ummm, that wasn't really that funny." God, still laughing, eyes his eternal Son and says, "Wait for it, wait for it...."

Another allakazam!

ZAP! Bald Ben is now the father of twin boys. All the deities break down in uncontrollable laughter at the great cosmic joke that was just played on the poor kid who lost his hair when he was 16. If you listen real close, you can still hear their eternal mirth.

But I digress, I started the family blog (It's linked to on the left20there. Two babies, one Bald guy, and a woman who can't tell the difference: a love story.) Simply because I was feeling a bit lazy and antisocial. "Hold the phone," I hear you say, "Lazy and Antisocial? Blogging can be a tough hobbie, and it ostensibly connects you to thousands of people at one time."

Ahh, you are right. If done with a little bit of heart and elbow grease blogging can be a full time job. However I am not looking for anything permanent thanks, just a little part time thing on the side will do just fine. The laziness and antisocial behavior came out of the fact that I didn't feel like having to call every person we knew with every detail of every doctor appointment, answering the same questions ad nauseum. Oddly enough despite the blog, I had to call every person we knew with every detail of every doctor appointment, answering the same questions ad nauseum.

However something odd happened along the way,

"Did you step in Dog poop?"

For the answer to this question AND MUCH MORE, visit Bald Ben who says, "...I will not hide. I am Bald Ben. My view points, my thoughts, my opinions are all free for the taking. I stand behind what I say, that's why I say it. Otherwise this would all be a colossal waste of time."

This concludes the 21st edition of the Carnival.

The next Carnival of MS Bloggers will be hosted here on October 23, 2008. Please remember to submit a post (via email) from your blog of which you are particularly proud, or which you simply want to share, by noon on Tuesday, October 21, 2008.

Thank you.
Comments for this post.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Carnival of MS Bloggers #14 - Independence Edition

Welcome to the Carnival of MS Bloggers, a bi-weekly compendium of thoughts and experiences shared by those living with multiple sclerosis.

independenceindependence - freedom from control or influence of another or others
freedom - the condition of being free; the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints
personal independence - self-sufficiency, self-reliance, self-direction, autonomy

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
The Declaration of Independence July 4, 1776

Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty.
Abraham Lincoln
In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
Achieving freedom. What an excellent and empowering view of life. Independence does not quietly happen; it must be cultivated, battled for, and nurtured. Enjoy the following stories of freedom and independence.


Emotional Independence and Freedom from Guilt

Very recently our friend Blindbeard began telling her story of Healing. She has a beautiful way of getting to the heart of the matter at hand while discussing "issues...when trying to come to terms with having MS. They are not pretty, yet I cannot believe that I am the only one who went through some of these ugly stages." She continues with, "consider yourself warned, and if nothing else I hope a few people can relate and hopefully get rid of any guilt they may be carrying around for the things they did at one of the hardest times in their life."
Love Me, Don't Judge Me

There is a good reason why I take it very personally when someone tries to tell me how I should feel or what I should be doing. I don't get angry easily and I don't care too much about what others think about me; but being human, I care very much about what I think about me. I'm sure you know this, but please bear with me as I reiterate some things that are pertinent to this story for anyone who may not have read my older posts.

My diagnoses came as a complete shock, out of the blue, a horrible attack out of no where with very little warning. My early signs I shrugged off as nothing important -- depression, anxiety, a leg being numb from time to time etcetera etcetera. And in that first major attack I lost so much of my life that I valued: doing foster care (my neurologists do not want me to have even one kid because of the stress); working and having my own money; my general health, which had always been excellent; spending my time in the outdoors, fishing, camping, gardening. I cried for a couple of months but after a time when others were not crying as much, or were trying to show a brave face for me, I stopped sharing my pain with them, especially my family as they were just as upset (if not more so) than me. Mainly my mother because she is a nurse in a nursing home and cares for several MS patients that have had the disease for umpteen years without the benefits of the DMDs we have now, so she didn't want me to come to her work and see any of them in case it worried me more.

After the first shock wore off I kept all my feelings to myself and put on a brave face for the world to see. This worked for quite awhile until my fourth round of steroids in less than 10 months. I had just celebrated (?) my first anniversary of being diagnosed and was finishing up my taper of steroids when it all came crashing in on me. I woke up that morning feeling strange. I don't have the correct words for it, I just know I felt so numb and dead inside that I wanted to take a knife and cut myself to see if I could feel it. I fought the feeling and ate breakfast and went grocery shopping, but all I could think of was writing a note to explain why I had to kill myself. I came home, wrote the note thinking it would get that out of my head and finding it didn't help and then I made a series of mistakes. I printed the note and put it on the counter in the kitchen, found an old rusty dry wall knife and a rusty dull razor blade and went to work on my wrists.

Somewhere in the haze I was in, I had a feeling that it wasn't right so I called my mom. She in turn called 911 and my whole family, several police, firemen, and EMTs swarmed my house. I cut my wrists up and down and back and forth, crisscrossed and every which way I could. If those nasty rusty things were not so dull it would have been even uglier than it was. There was blood all over my clothes, the kitchen, and me. My memory becomes very hazy after I started cutting myself. I know I put my hands over my face and wouldn't look at anyone because I felt so worthless and useless that I couldn't look anyone in the eye.

I ended up being tossed into the loony bin and had 5 days to cool my heels and think about what I had done. I had to go before the Mental Health Review Board to show that I was no longer a "mentally ill and dangerous person." They shackled me (as if I could run away!) and that damn note I wrote, that was meant only for family to see, was pulled out over and over and over again. I got so angry from always having to talk about it, I told one of the counselors to just publish it in the newspaper so the whole town could read it and talk about it. In the loony bin I decided that I was no longer going to pretend to be/feel anything that I am not.

Nature has a way of healing us whether we think it will or not, and I decided that I was just going to be me and let nature do her thing. I will never, under any circumstances pretend to feel anything other than what I am feeling. I know it was the steroids combined with my hiding my true feelings that pushed me over the edge that day. That is why I don't like people telling me what to do or how to feel. I will get there in my own sweet time, and trying to force it is not healthy. Instead I am embracing my emotions and enjoying the way nature works on a damaged soul. I am intrigued by the healing process; it is such a myriad thing and so unpredictable. But in a life that is so routine I want to scream and run away some times, I welcome the ups and downs and realize that we all grieve in our own way, and it is always best to let nature do her thing and not let others tell you how you should be feeling. I wish I had known that earlier -- my wrists would be a lot prettier.

Freedom of Laughter



Physical Independence on Wheels

Browsing through the blogrolls of MSers, I discovered a new-to-me MS blogger, Retired Waif, who writes with sarcastic humor and dry wit, often with colorful language. I think it was this statement which sent me reeling in laughter - "People. If you’re not certified to repair this chair, don’t put your hands on it unless you’re prepared to buy me a new one."
Why YES, this IS in fact the hill I want to die on.
So I haven’t been around lately, because I’ve been, seriously and for real, actually out of the house for once in a while. No lie. This hermit thing is for the birds once summer hits, and I’m doing my best to actually get the kids in the open air as much as possible. This is all made much, much easier by the fact that I have my new chair, which is utterly slick, and I can now do things other than clutch my husband’s arm all day ...
Despite the invention, some time ago I believe, of a circular frame or disk arranged to revolve on an axis on vehicles or machinery (popularly known as the “wheel,”) people remain, apparently, very very daunted by hills. On my behalf. The situation is so dire, in fact, that it renders null and void any requirement for consent on my part to being touched, grabbed, or screamed at
Here’s a brief summation of a few of the incidents I mean:
The farmer’s market: Not the first time this sort of thing happened, but the first time that the situation went beyond one in which I could continue to chirp “No thank you! No thank you!” and started letting the obscenities fly. You see, the Farmer’s Market I frequent and the ATM a block-and-a-half away are separated by… (cue the spooky music)… a HILL. OK, a pretty steep hill. It’s actually a hill that I practiced on a few times to make sure I was up to the hills on campus, before I took the chair out alone for the first time. It goes… up. On a grade. In one direction. As a hill does.
Halfway up I hear panting behind me. A fortyish woman who, let’s be frank, probably spends a good deal of her time praying to be in the sort of shape I’m in is laboriously clambering up behind me and, thinking she might need to pass, I pull aside and stop. Mildly annoying to stop on a steep grade, but no more so than having to hurry up on her behalf would be. When she catches up, I expect her to pass so that I can continue, but instead she stops and, proud as anything, beams “I came up here to help you!”
“Oh, thank you so much, that isn’t necessary,” I tell her.
“Oh, no, it’s fine, she says, and proceeds to dart out her hand and make a snatching sort of grab for the back of my chair. And right here is where I lose all sympathy for these people. It’s the grab. It’s not just that they’re touching without permission. Not just. It’s the fact that the grab is fast and the grab is furtive, because they know. They know they’re doing unwelcome shit. They just think they can get away with it.
I couldn't really hold back a loud, startled “What are you doing?” and things devolved from there. She wouldn’t leave, just stood there, arms folded, yelling about how she was helping and I should be grateful and so on and so forth. Egh. Enough.
After she’d finally gone away, I turned back up the hill again, sharing a shaking-our-heads-in-disbelief glance with my ten-year-old. Not two more feet up the hill it happened. Crack. The seat-back (which is extremely low) gets slammed into the small of my back, hard. Someone, a man this time, has apparently decided that he’s going to take over this going-up-the-hill thing for me and, not seeing any way to push the chair (because there isn’t one) has decided to grab the backrest and shove.
No.
I was, at this point, beyond furious. Guy, as well, was livid at being challenged by the ought-to-be passive victim of his help. To quote Forster, “the man was young, the woman deeply stirred, in both a vein of coarseness was latent.” Anyone reading this blog knows there’s more than a vein of coarseness in this waif, and it ain’t all too latent–and my rescuer had quite the temper himself.
Yelling. Screaming.
People. If you’re not certified to repair this chair, don’t put your hands on it unless you’re prepared to buy me a new one. Really. It’s bloody expensive and insurance covered none of it (but they’d cover a powerchair, which costs thousands more, how asinine is that?). Also, I sliced my own hand open (there’s apparently a reason this chair is named the Razorblade) and don’t really want to be liable for someone else’s misguided injury. Speaking of injury, I did call the police, and it is assault to grab someone’s chair, and the officer I spoke with said that it might even be possible to make a case for leaving-the-scene if you break something on the chair and then run off, refusing to give me your info. I wonder if I can charge it as a bias crime when they respond to the assault charge with “but she’s disabled!”
You can’t really predict what kind of quixotic, litigious lunatic is sitting in that chair you’re trying to grab, so why not try asking first? The ass you save may be your own.

A Dream of Financial Independence

In January on Brass and Ivory, I posted about the cost of MS injectable medication. Only a few months later, the numbers need to be adjusted. Substitute $8000 for $7000 and $2000 for $1750. Imagine - one ounce of medication costs $2000. Unbelievable.
The value of money or the value of health - What do you see?
What does money look like to someone with multiple sclerosis?

This is what $7000 looks like to me....120 pre-filled syringes...120 mL.
Four months worth of daily self-injectable medication.


One syringe = 1 mL
120 mL = 4 ounces
1 ounce = $1750

But it won't pay the bills nor would it pay for an Italian vacation. You might look at it like an investment in future health and mobility. Put the money in now and hopefully reap the benefits later if all goes well.
This is what $7000 looks like to most people....$7000.

It could be used to pay the mortgage, to purchase a new french horn, or to provide for that Italian vacation. But for someone with multiple sclerosis, it likely goes to pay for out-of-pocket healthcare expenses.
Although I have a private, individual health insurance policy with a major carrier in the Washington, D.C. area, I still have to pay this $21,000 annual expense for a single medication designed to slow-down the MS disease progression. It might work, it might not work. I can only hope it does.
My insurance premiums now cost approximately $3500 each year, but the company still will not cover my medication in full. It will payout $1500 each year for medication, but the rest is my responsibility...my cost.
But what if you don't earn enough money to be able to spend an extra $21,000 each and every year in the hopes of avoiding some level of disability in the future?
Well, the patient contact organization created by the pharmaceutical company (in this case Shared Solutions) refers your case to their benefits investigation team. This team will also run a quick search for government programs in your area for which you might qualify.
What if your state or locality does not have a pharmaceutical program which will cover this medication?
Then your case is referred to the National Organization of Rare Disorders, Inc. (NORD) who administers the prescription assistance program for Copaxone/Teva.
What kind of information does NORD require?
Recent paystubs, federal tax return, 3 months of bank and investment statements, and a signed application form verifying assets, income, and expenses. If you are not single, all of the above information is also needed regarding your spouse.
What does it take to qualify for help in paying $21,000?
Well, what I do know is that with an income of $27,000, a single 37-year old female with some money in retirement and savings might qualify for a 25% award equal to 3 months of medication provided by NORD.
When that same single female, at age 38, earns an income of $19,400 (less than 200% federal poverty level), she discovers the magic threshold at which NORD will provide 100% of the $21,000 medication.
Ironically, today as I have prescription costs on my mind, I received the reapplication form from NORD. Within the letter accompanying the application, NORD reminds us -
"As the Program is one of last resort, we must remind you that continued participation in the program is not guaranteed. Also, allotments awarded may vary from year to year as they are based on dosage, financial need, and the relative size of the Program itself."
Nothing is guaranteed...and each year this now 39-year old female must submit all her financial information for evaluation.
How truly needy is she and how deserving of a helping hand?
It's a numbers game really. As a self-employed person, even I don't know exactly what I've earned until I sit down at year end and calculate all deposits and all expenses. But I did calculate once that I would need to gross an additional $30,000 to be able to pay the $21,000 (plus increased taxes and SEP contribution) and maintain the same take-home pay.
Anyway you look at it, that $7000 worth of medication is an expensive forfeiture of $10,000 earning power and the future financial security that the $10K might provide. I feel as though I have to give up alot in order to gain some hope of slowing this MonSter down.
How do you view your medication?
I dream of never having to examine my medication in this manner. That would be freedom indeed. What about you?

This concludes the 14th edition of the Carnival.
The next Carnival of MS Bloggers will be hosted here on July 17, 2008. Please remember to submit a post (via email) from your blog of which you are particularly proud, or which you simply want to share, by noon on Tuesday, July 15, 2008.

Thank you.
Comments for this post.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Carnival of MS Bloggers #8

Welcome to the Carnival of MS Bloggers, a bi-weekly compendium of thoughts and experiences shared by those living with multiple sclerosis.


Jeri of Fingolimod and Me has been very busy and created "the frankenstein of all blog aggregators" compiled from the MonSter Blog list posted at the Carnival of MS Bloggers.

"When Blogs Collide... good stuff is bound to happen!"

This MonSter Blog Reader not only provides one location from which to read the newest posts of all your favorite MS Bloggers, there is a search function which can cull through the entire (listed) MS Blogosphere to find you the really good stuff. And... you can "get all interactive with it." Readers are encouraged to add tags and provide meaningful labels for individual posts. Jeri says, "Somewhere down the road it will help others sort things out and find things they are searching for more quickly." I think this was a stroke of genius on Jeri's part which will benefit current and future MSers.


Next, the originator of the 100+ MS Blog list, Linda of BrainCheese, and the founder of this Carnival and compiler of the expanded MS Blog list, Lisa of Brass and Ivory, have each presented contrasting (although complementary) views regarding the MS disease-modifying drugs (DMDs). In response to a request from Stu asking that bloggers post his story - My Hiatus From My MS Medication, Linda and Lisa took different approaches. Lisa asks the question, "What happens if you skip your DMD?" But troubled by an inner voice which whispered, "you don't necessarily agree," Linda writes her poignant tale in - When We Don't Agree...Entirely... - definitely a must read.


Jim of Jim's DEEP Thoughts personally discusses lifestyle changes, getting healthy, and flexible spending accounts (FSA). Swimming is excellent exercise for those with multiple sclerosis and those without.
I am thinking about my commitment to swim again and I can't wait... I won't be able to swim until I get my ear plugs that will arrive about two weeks from yesterday. Being deaf and wearing hearing-aids, I can't afford to have ear infections that I often get when swimming, so ear plugs are great investments.

I have flexible spending accounts (FSAs) which allow me to pay for prescription drugs and doctor visits with pre-tax dollars. I want to use this for [YMCA] membership and according to the benefits list, I am eligible only if my doctor prescribes for me to exercise. In 2001, the IRS released its Revenue Ruling 2002-19, which states that certain health club service fees, not including health club dues, may qualify as tax-favored medical expenses. Such services must be prescribed by a physician for the treatment of a disease, including, but not limited to, obesity, heart disease, hypertension, high cholesterol, counseling for weight-reduction, nutrition, cholesterol, or hypertension, and type 2 diabetes. Physical inactivity are associated with 23% of health plan charges and 27% of national health care charges. I say, I need help to find ways to stay active that is financially affordable. Anyway, I am going to check with my doctor and see if she could prescribe for me to join YMCA.

Focusing on a different kind of prescription, Vicky discusses SEX while providing a personal warning - "Mum, you don't want to read this one." Vicky's Mum may not want to read this, but I certainly do because I can relate to the topic.
Sex is a topic that always seems to be talked about anonymously on the MS Society message boards and seems to be something people can be worried about talking about or ashamed. I understand why in most cases but I thought I'd share my experience seeing as it is a fairly common problem for people at some stage or other of their MS.

Originally my problems were isolated to the left side of my torso and my lower legs. Then one morning I woke up and the numb feeling was all the way up to my bum and I was having to check with my hands that I was sat on the loo seat properly, I also felt like I had a permanent 'wedgy' which was really, really annoying!

I realised, having been to the loo that although I could feel the area around my genitals it was not a normal feeling - interesting I thought - but possibly not good. I went to the Dr shortly after this and was referred to a neuro - lucky me, no faffing, no 'its stress' just, go see a neuro.

I'm not sure when my other half and I next had sex but I am a big fan of getting my pleasure in - and I am not that easy to please! [...]
WHOA: We stop this important broadcast for the following announcement. The steamy contents of Vicky's Sex post from this point on have been omitted to spare the innocent, but you can certainly read all the good stuff in its entirety here. Subjects include a tongue, a pet Rabbit, naughty text messages, nookie, afternoons, orgasms, and most importantly SEX.

One commenter says, "Oh, and as a long time MSer, sex toys are a must!"

Remember, you heard it here. Sex toys are good for MSers.


New to blogging, Miriam is a Proud Mum! of three boys, six dogs, four hens, and multiple chicks ,who was diagnosed with MS on January 4, 2008. At her brand new blog, Miriam discusses a really bad relapse following a nice walk she took in the morning. I sincerely hope for Miriam that this was simply a pseudo-exacerbation which resolved itself in less than 24 hours.


Barbara of Barbara's TCHATZKAHS regularly features articles on her blog which spread awareness and knowledge on a variety of subjects. Her philosophy is described below:
There is a sin even greater than [speaking lashon hara], and one which is more widespread, i.e., the sin of refraining from informing another about a situation in which one can save him from being victimized—all out of concern for lashon hara… One who behaves in this manner, his sin is too great to bear and he violates, "You shall not stand by the blood of your brother." - Pithei Teshuvah
In "When the Disease Eludes Diagnosis," Dr. Barron Lerner discusses one of his longtime patients, Lucy, who feels she has a neurological ailment which has not been adequately diagnosed.
Although I hope to make further progress on her case, I have also told her that there may never be a definitive answer. Not surprisingly, she is feeling pretty frustrated with me.

Why do doctors and patients often approach the diagnosis of disease so differently? Part of the answer lies in the concept of triage... [...]

Patients’ frustration may rise even more when their conditions are especially obscure. I once had a patient who complained of persistent drenching sweats that forced her to change her bedclothes several times a night.

Upon learning of this problem, I first went into triage mode, ruling out possible dangerous causes, including tuberculosis, a thyroid abnormality and rare tumors that release hormones. I referred her to a gynecologist on the chance that she was getting hot flashes decades after her menopause.

When all the tests were negative, my patient was understandably upset, even angry. “No doctor that I have spoken to has been able to tell me what it is,” she said, as I remember. She even called a doctor on a local radio show for his opinion.

I recalled this story when I learned recently that my longtime patient Lucy’s new neurologist was questioning whether she had multiple sclerosis, a diagnosis she has carried for more than 25 years. Since I have known her, Lucy has had painful and weak legs that necessitate a walker.

Rather than simply corroborating her existing diagnosis, this doctor had thought outside the box, noting that Lucy’s relatively stable condition — and her lack of brain lesions on an M.R.I., a test not available at the time of her initial diagnosis — warranted a new perspective.

At first, Lucy was excited too. After all, being told you may not have a serious disease like multiple sclerosis is surely good news.

But while the neurologist had correctly questioned the diagnosis, she had a harder time finding a new one. Lucy became discouraged. “I want to know,” she told me. “I point-blank asked the neurologist, ‘What is it?’ And the only answer she can give me is: ‘I don’t know. I’m not sure.’ ”

Eventually, the neurology team decided that Lucy had an atypical form of multiple sclerosis, one that caused unusual neurological symptoms and was present in the spinal cord but not the brain. Yet the doctors admitted that this diagnosis generated more questions than answers about Lucy’s prognosis and her future treatment.

While trying to be as sympathetic as possible, I find myself reminding Lucy of the limits of certainty in medicine. Despite enormous advances in technology, some diagnoses may remain elusive. I also told her that it was highly unlikely her doctors missed diagnosing a disease that could have been successfully treated. But she remains convinced that she deserves to know exactly what she has.

So we will continue to search.
Barron H. Lerner teaches medicine and public health at the Columbia University Medical Center.

In conclusion, a post which transcends summary or explanation.

THE SEVERED MIND BODY CONNECTION or HOW MS TRIED TO STEAL MY SOUL by Diane J. Standiford

"When it comes to multiple sclerosis, I really have no feelings. No, I really have NO FEELING. None in my finger tips, none in my legs or feet or front or side; if you do not have a neurological malfunction, then you may not understand all that takes from me. Live a day in your life and imagine. Imagine the tulip petals are pretty but they are not soft and smooth and make you believe in a God. Imagine you can no longer feel the warmth of your lover’s hand in yours or the incredible love within the hair on their head.

An adorable puppy runs up, tail wagging, to greet you; and you cannot pet it or hold it like a baby in your arms. Memory tells you there is joy in the experience, but again you can not feel it. You watch as others run into the refreshing waters of a beach, but know it holds no cool wetness for you.

Your feet are in socks, shoes, yet; you must look down to be sure they are on the floor. Each step you take is risky business; you are so grateful you can see when once you were legally blind. Friends pass around towels or new sheets, a cashmere sweater or purple mink stole and all who hold them “OOOUU,” and “AHHH,” when your turn comes you force a smile for objects that are not in your memory; they must be oouuful and ahhful. It is always easier to force a smile than explain that you have no feeling because you have MS.

Okay, you can stop imagining. This is my life, not yours. It wasn’t always this way. Sometimes my desk felt like water. Sometimes my leg felt like it suddenly was immersed in water. It took me many years to understand how this was possible. Did you ever hear the expression, “Running around like a chicken with its head cut off?” My mother was raised on a farm and one of her childhood memories is of a chicken that her Pop cut off the head of and it “…chased me!” That chicken had nerve. No, it really had NERVES still firing briefly.

My nerves have gone astray. How do I get my life back or some semblance of? Dangling participle aside; no, I really mean ASIDE; I would need to remove my body from the messages that had turned me into an alien from that planet with life that we have not discovered yet. I would have to set my body aside from my brain and the system of nerves attached to it.

First: Take inventory. What is reacting to the world as it used to? I can sing, pitch perfect. I can speak and be understood by other humans, animals, and birds. But birds can’t speak…I can communicate with my eyes, my vocal tone, and maybe, just maybe, something else. I can remember. I can hear, I can see with glasses. I can taste food and liquids. I can become angry, sad, passionate, determined. I am loyal, loving, kind, generous, and HUMBLE—HA! I have my sense of humor! This list is too long. What I still have is much greater than what I’ve lost.

The answer is so simple. I must remove ME from my body.

Looking around the room, following my long-held philosophy about life (some call this religion or love of God; I don’t see myself going that high up, it is allowing fate to enter my brain and soul—being a sponge to that which is around me) to seek the answer before me, I see two helium birthday balloons clinging, unmoving, to the wall and each other. Then I look to my left and there, tied to a vase of purple tulips, is another helium balloon which is turning slowly side to side, unfettered by friction, as it is alone by no wall.

If I do not remove me from my body I will become immobile like the two balloons attached to their body’s natural reliance on the physical world to define them. They are red and green, rather boring. The other balloon, which is now practically spinning, is covered in glitter, swirls, and a shiny slice of cake with lit candle and in writing declares, “Happy Birthday.”

So, that is what I did many years ago. I separated me from my physical body. Using memories, I remembered how refreshing water is, how cuddly a puppy is and how sweet the feeling of my lover’s hand in mine.

When my left hand began to experience atrophy (tissue wasting away); and my neurologist told me it could not be helped, I removed it and let my brain take over; I learned long ago that me is in my brain. Now I tell my hand via the verbal part of my brain (left side) to place the thumb here or press the index finger there. (My left index finger just typed those last three words, something it has not been able to do for a year.)

Having my brain trace the upward movement of my right leg, I then had it go through each step on my left leg until it reached my foot---which MOVED! My problem now is this process tires my brain, which is already working with a short shift (many axons have passed away, others keep calling in sick and believe ME my brain is not happy about it), so it rests a lot; BUT it is building a new pathway every time we play the game. I can actually FEEL my brain operating. Jeopardy, Cash Cab, the first note to an unfinished song---it goes crazy! It races through “file drawers,” 100mph; until I finally have to insist it go into sleep mode so the body can rest and it is free to keep searching then. (Sometimes it gets so excited it wakes me up and the body shouts the answer to some obscure question as if I have Tourette’s.)

The body was, of course, not thrilled with what it felt was a defection by me and my brain. The body was without purpose. This caused uproar between the body and me. It felt useless and betrayed. Well, I went to sleep and let them duke it out.

In the morning the body wanted to create. I just laughed. My creativity was in acting, public speaking, a spit of writing. What did you have in mind, body? (Uh-hem.) First it wanted to color. Disaster. Then it wanted to do puzzles. Nightmare. Model building. Guitar playing. Singing, got as far as looking for instructors, advertised in papers, at colleges---no takers. My body was getting worse with each failure. Then my brain got upset and told me to start a blog. I had no idea what a blog was, but my brain assured me that it would handle everything. (Yeah, right.)

Then a writing challenge beckoned and the body wanted to go for it; the brain agreed to help out, so what choice did me, er, I have? When I write my MS seems to disappear. The brain takes over and carries me anywhere it wants. In a story I walk, run, feel a worn leather saddle or a cool spring breeze. A part of the me without MS can be in any character. I can even fly over the rainbow. There is a freedom when writing, telling a story, that releases all illness from my nerves and brain. My one finger typing was joined by another. When I am finished, there is completion and cooperation; and a sense of a job well done. MS? We had forgotten.

And there you have it, I have no feelings, but with my body, my brain and me working on our own, but together toward the goal of some normalcy, we are able to see our goal as attainable. The mind/body connection can be severed and still be two separate entities working together. Can you feel me?"


And with Diane's inspiring post, we conclude the 8th edition of the Carnival.

The next Carnival of MS Bloggers will be hosted here on April 24, 2008. Please remember to submit a post (via email) from your blog of which you are particularly proud, or which you simply want to share, by noon on Tuesday, April 22, 2008.

Thank you.
Comments for this post.