Welcome to the Carnival of MS Bloggers, a monthly compendium of thoughts and experiences shared by those living with multiple sclerosis.
Creating a World of My Own
by Melissa L. Cook of MSsymptoms.me
Initially I was too ill to be aware of my devastating launch into isolation. Loneliness was a few months off. Fearing the worst was about to befall me, I planned my final arrangements and put my affairs in order. Then I waited. Nothing. Waited some more. The shock of being alone hit me like a ton of bricks. Overload at the office made it difficult to sustain meaningful relationships in the after-hours clearly evident at this point in my life. I was alone now during the day; my life would never be the same.
A few years later, I would write a blog post called, “Disability is Not a Bundle of Sick Days” with the conclusion, “It is as if I have spent the past 31 months out on sick days. Disability isn’t a sick day, it is life. It is about time I realized it and start living again.” I hid in my home for two and a half years. I was sick. I worried the people of my small town would question why I wasn’t working if I could mosey into the post office or store. Then one day I ventured out with a camera in hand to photograph the fall colors and was welcomed with open arms by my neighbors and friends whom had wondered what happened to me.
|Johannes Vermeer, A Lady Writing|
Multiple sclerosis still hangs around my doorstep making an appearance periodically. However, I balance my new world in a way I never could with the demands of being employed. Resting as I need and remembering “all things in moderation” allows me to live an awe-inspiring life without the career I once loved.
The old saying, “When one door closes, another one opens” has been so true for me. My career goal of becoming a superintendent of schools with a Ph.D. was not realized. However, my dream of writing is taking shape. In addition, I find time to play with my grandchildren, quilt, bead, take photographs, and I want to learn how to paint with watercolors. Creating my own world becomes more exciting by the month. Yes, I still spend most of my days alone but I am not lonely; I am happy again. And, at the end of the day my best friend comes home to spend the evenings and weekends with me. I love you, Elgin! Thank-you for keeping me going.
This concludes the 161st edition of the Carnival. The next Carnival of MS Bloggers will be hosted here on December 4, 2014. Please remember to submit a post (via email) from your blog of which you are particularly proud, or which you simply want to share, by noon on Tuesday, December 2, 2014.